HauerTo: Avoid Nightmares This Halloween (No Ghost-Busting Required!)

It’s spooky season! Halloween is nearly here, which means your TV, front porch, and grocery store are overrun with pumpkins, creepy clowns, and enough fake cobwebs to make you question the existence of your Roomba. But how do you get through it all without waking up in a cold sweat because your brain thinks Freddy Krueger’s lurking under your bed? Well, dear reader, I’ve got three foolproof life hacks to avoid Halloween nightmares and keep your dreams a scare-free zone.

1. Snack Smart, Sleep Tight

You know how eating a late-night burrito makes you feel like you’re personally fighting Godzilla in your dreams? Yeah, that’s because your stomach is too busy digesting to send you calm “happy dream” vibes. So, instead of wolfing down a dozen Reese’s before bed (tempting, I know), opt for something lighter, like popcorn—without the eyeball sprinkles. Skip the sugar, save the nightmares, and if all else fails, just pass out in a candy coma before the nightmares can even start. Problem solved.

2. The “Lights On, Fear Gone” Technique

Look, we all want to pretend we’re tough enough to sleep in total darkness after binge-watching horror flicks, but let’s be real: a dim nightlight can work wonders. Or if you’re still scared, just switch on all the lights. Sure, your electric bill might take a hit, but your dignity stays intact because, surprise, it’s “ambiance.” Bonus points if you decorate with fun Halloween lights. Nothing says “I’m fine, nothing to be scared of” like a glowing pumpkin lamp guarding your soul.

3. Ban Haunted Objects

You know that creepy doll your aunt gave you that “just moved on its own” last Halloween? Time for it to go into deep storage… or an exorcism, whichever’s easier. Clearing out anything remotely resembling Annabelle, old Victorian mirrors, or books with “Necronomicon” in the title will make your bedroom 110% safer. Trust me, the last thing you want is to wake up at 3 AM, make eye contact with a stuffed animal, and question whether it’s plotting against you. Just Marie Kondo those haunted objects right out the door!

So there you have it! Three life hacks that are as practical as they are slightly ridiculous—but hey, it’s Halloween, and you deserve a good night's sleep without zombie-filled dreams. You're welcome. Stay spooky (but not too spooky), friends!